Priority of Life

We all have them. Whether it is taking care of a parent or child. Staying late at work one day to make sure whatever files get done. Walking the dog, feeding the cat. The list could go on and on. But the one priority that is often overlooked by people, including myself, should be our first priority. That is yourself.


I have to figure out me. What I want out of life. You know that big stuff. LOL. Work is ok but I have to be honest with myself. This is not where I want to be and I am at a dead end anyway. I am taking a nutrition class to see if that is possibly a career change I want to make. Jury is still out on that one. I was suppose to do work on it tonight but I am just not in the mood. If I decide at the end of this semester it's not for me, I think I will take another class in the different field. Get my feet wet and go from there. Things need to change and no one is going to do it for me. Sometimes you have to fight and struggle a bit for what you want out of life. That is how you learn and hopefully grow.


Speaking of fighting, I also need to get my insurance to pay for my implants. But I will have to wait and see on that part. This too is also a priority and moving forward with the rest of my reconstruction. It has been too long and I would like to be "whole" for Christmas. I don't think that is too much to ask for.


I go back in August to get another scan to make sure everything it ok. Fingers crossed.

Still Flighting

I sent off yet another letter to my insurance for them to pay for my implants. They send my doctor a denial, again. I really should say I sent them a package. I mailed photos of X-rays and CAT Scans of my jaw and picture of me all swollen. I send them so much information that they will think I am crazy. GOOD. Hope they do so they can pay for me to be whole again.

It has been just over a year since my last surgery. All I have to do is get the implants but I do not want to go to the next step until I get this straight. I hate to say this but if it does not work I might have to get a lawyer. I would rather not as the lawyer might be as much as the implants would cost me. But they want me to give up. I say no way!

On the plus side, I have started taking a nutrition class. Should be fun to learn something again in a class environment.

Trust

Trust: a : assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b : one in which confidence is placed. per Merriam-Webster

To have one's trust is a very powerful gift and one that should not be taken lightly. Once it's lost it is hard to get back. Not impossible, depending on the issue at hand, of course. It is easier to trust close family members like a parent or brother or sister. Heck, they have been with you since you were born.

Friends take time and if you are lucky to have one or two best friends to share your life and trust with, consider yourself blessed. Too many people out there will turn around and habitually reveal personal or sensational facts about others. We all know people like that.

It's very hard to trust a stranger. Let alone, a stranger that will be operating on you. In a way, depending on the operation, you are trusting him or her with your life. That is why, in my humble opinion, if you are going to have an operation, however long or short it may be, get a second opinion. Heck get three or four. I had four listed but only saw three. I did not need to after I went to Hopkins. Sometimes you just have a feeling about someone.

I have no regrets about my choice. For those going through the same thing as myself, I am sorry, it sucks, I know. But look around. Talk to a few doctors. Some may suggest the same procedure, others may pick a completely different path. Two of the three doctors I went to wanted to wire my jaw closed. Two of the three doctors wanted to use a bone graft from my hip instead of my fibula.

Do the research. Get the doctors CV. Talk to past patients if you can. Check out support groups or blogs like mine. But, in the end, its all about trust. Trust in yourself for making the choice and trust in the doctor.

Life

There are things in life that are unavoidable. Paying taxes, death and change. Sometimes change can be the hardest. Dealing with amelo has definitely changed me. But I honestly feel for the better. Yes, I said for the better.

Let me explain.

I always wanted to get in shape. I joined the gym. Never went. I read up on health magazines. Never followed it through. Get the point. It was only after I had my surgery for amelo that it finally kicked in. I needed to get healthy. I needed to get fit.

I went on an ongoing life change. I went to a nutritionist. I seriously hit the gym several times a week. I mentally and physically made a change to get myself healthy. As a result, I lost 40 pounds. More importantly I kept it off. I really felt better about myself. Sometimes it takes something bad to happen in your life for you to realize what is important. Health is import. I am important. I need to take care of me.

But sometimes change can hurt. Especially if the change was a choice. A choice that was made in fear or haste. Quitting a job. Not going to the doctor. Turning your back on something that could possibly be good because you're scared. Get the picture? Sometimes in life no matter how hard you try and hit ctrl z, you cannot undo it.

If I learned anything this past weekend it is to think before you act. You cannot take back yesterday.

But you can learn.