My Head Hurts

Well this week I will find out what hospital I want to do the surgery. I meet the doctors at Johns Hopkins on Tuesday. My last opinion. I could keep going but what would be the point. I know... I know I have to get this done. The process is about the same from the two other doctors I had spoken too. Just got to figure out who I like better.

I find myself getting really tired. I don't know if it's stress from the Amelo thing, work, selling my home or all three. Maybe it's life in general. I find that I just want to sleep. Too much going on all that same time. Deep breath.

Sad part is that I had a trip planned to go to Italy next year. It would take place early spring. That is not going to happen due to the surgery. Grant it, I don't know when it will take place. Just that I will and hope to be recovered by then. But who knows.

Too tired to write anymore. Think I will go to sleep.

Off to meet the Executioner

Today I finally got to see the doctor at University of Penn. I think I went into that office with a big chip on my shoulder. Can you blame me? Dr Carrasco (mom said that this mean executioner in Spanish or something) was told what happened the last time I was there but it did not seem to effect him. Ok, strike one.

He looked at the x-rays I had and told me basically what that other doctor did. But he mentioned taking the bone out of my leg, the fibula, rather then the hip. He would not perform the surgery to remove the fibula, another doctor would. He also states that recovery time will be more then a few months. A year to be honest. The other doctor did not state that. He also said that this operation is not a walk in the part. It is a big deal and that he knew the other doctor I met first and advised me that he is a good doctor.

I started to get upset, not that what he was saying was hurtful but the fact that he was treating this as it was. A serious case. I did not get that sense from the other guy. I started to cry. I cry a lot lately.

He also mentioned a Dr called Dr Marx in Florida. Now I heard his name in passing on the Yahoo! Support Group site. But I am not going to Florida for this operation. I thought about seeing someone in the Mayo Clinic down there but it’s too far to travel.

I don't know what I am going to do. This is all too much.

Get over your God complex!!!!!

It comes a time when picking a doctor where you can tell if he or she is the right one for you. I was trying to get as much reassurance from the doctor at Thomas Jefferson to make sure he was the right one for me. It's never a good sign when the doctor does not give that to you. I don't know if I hurt his feelings or he was just frustrated with me or thought he was king of the world, but I told him flat out that I really don't know much about his skills or him. I would like references or maybe look at some before or after photos. He stated that he does not like to give them out, references that is. It's almost like take me as I am or leave me. He could not show me before and after for HIPA reasons. I guess I could understands that part. But what killed me was the comments he made. I don’t need anymore surgeries and that I was doing the runaround by not making a decision. WHAT?

He and his associated encouraged me to get 2nd and 3rd opinions and now he accuses me of doing a runaround? Naturally I told him off on that part. He also made a comment about not going over all the options as I have not made my mind yet. Hello, is that not the whole part of one making up their mind but getting all the facts first. And the comment about not needing any more surgeries. Well let me take this one off his table.

Nope, not for me. Bye Bye Thomas Jefferson.

I am not happy with that Hospital!

A Second opinion. It was Thursday, October the 11th. Today I had an appointment for my second opinion for the procedure to remove the tumor as well and to check out the doctor at a different hospital. Now I called the office direct on the Monday prior to confirm, as well as confirming that morning. Both times the appointment was verified. I had all my Cat Scan films and x-rays, biopsy reports and copies to give to the doctor. I had a list of questions all ready to ask including wanting to see the doctors CV. I felt well prepared for the appointment. Boy was I in for a surprise.

I found the office with easy. I was a little worried as the Hospital was quite large. I went up to the reception desk giving my name and who I was suppose to see. Long story short the doctor was not there. In fact none of them were. They were in some seminar in Hawaii. I was floored. I called twice to confirm. I was given yes both times!!!! I lost it.

I broke down. I have a TUMOR!!! Where is the doctor? I called twice!! I demand to see the office manager!!! I said all this in the middle of crying my eyes out. I did not need this. Other office patients were looking at me. I did not care. I was wondering who the heck their were seeing if the doctors where not in. I just felt bad as my mom had to watch me go through this all. I hope they don't perform surgery the way they operate the office or I would be in major trouble.

Upon speaking to the manger, still crying my eyes out, I did not feel that much better. She admitted it was their offices mistake. DUH! She gave me money for parking. But that was it.

Of course I will not let this go. I am written a letter to everyone at the hospital regarding this really bad and terrible experience. Not only am I stressed about this tumor, I can now add I am stressed about this hospital. Thanks U Penn.