Tuesday, June 16, 2009


I firmly believe that I am cursed. A lot of negative stuff has been happening over the last few weeks. About 3 weeks ago I started to feel light headed, nauseous and ill. After going to the doctor she diagnoses me with Vertigo. (BS). I am sorry but I know my body and that is not it. A week later I almost passed out at work. I was taken to the ER, who also said I had Vertigo. (Again, BS). Long story short I have to make am appointment with a neurologist. But I wonder if this is related to the graft? Could it be failing? Perhaps I am worrying about nothing but I just can not help it. It’s always in the back of my mind.

The 2nd is not really related to amelo but it goes along with the curse feeling. I was taking a glass cup out of the kitchen cabinet when the glass next to it fell off the shelf. It crashed onto the kitchen counter, where I had other glass cups and shattered. A giant piece of glass bounced off the counter and landed right on my barefoot. Needless to say there was lots of blood and another trip to the ER. Hour later and 6 stitches I was home. UGH

The 3rd is a direct link to my recovery of amelo. I had an appointment next week to see Dr Sinada at Hopkins for my implants surgery. But when I called to reschedule I found out he is gone. WHAT? I was told that he left about 3 weeks ago. Why was I not informed? I mean I would have traveled 3 hours to see him. When were they going to tell me, when I got there? I was mad. I understand people do not stay in one job forever, but still. Now I have to start over. That is what frustrates me more. Dr S knew everything about me. He has been with me since day one of this whole process. It's just draining. Plus I will miss him.

Anything else the universe can throw at me?

Friday, June 12, 2009


Life can be daunting at times. It can get especially disheartening when you deal with a disease such as amelo. You can feel so alone. Friends and family do not know what you go through. Not really. They will not know (and I hope never) what it is like to have ½ your jaw taken out or part of your fibula or hip bone gone. The worry that you might be deformed (depressing I know). But what they can do is offer support. A shoulder, an ear. They can tell you to stop your complaining when you go off the deep end for something so stupid. (Thanks bro!)

But what if you don’t have that support system… I recently heard a story and I really hope it was exaggerated. This woman, we will call her Mary, was just diagnosed with cancer. Now instead of her friends being there for her, they abandoned her. She took it as they did not know how to deal with her having cancer. But regardless, you do not abandon a friend in need. Especially one going through something so serious. Lucky she found some support in a fellow cancer survivor. Bless her.

So I say to all my true friends out there, thank you for being there for me. To the rest? Go Frak off!