Monday, May 31, 2010


I talked a while ago about having a good support system around you. They will be with you no matter what. Family support and love is key. I lost my father a few years ago and I have never been the same. Death in the family changes you. He never had the chance to see me go through amelo. Sometimes I think that was for the best. But I miss him terribly. There is not a day go by when I don't think of him. I still have my mom and brother. Love them dearly. They have been my sounding board out of life and especially dealing with amelo and my life of late.

I have been having pain in my leg where the fibula was taken out. It's not continuous but it is sharp and lasts a few minutes. I am not sure if it's the muscles or nerves shifting. But regardless it does not feel right. My mouth has also been bleeding a little lately. I am not sure if it is the implant that has a loose cap or something new. I feel at a loss because I do not know how to proceed. My insurance company still have not paid and I don't want to accrue up thousands of dollars without some safety net.

I talked to my brother yesterday in detail about this and other stuff going on in my life. I miss him too. He use to live near me but now he is millions of miles away. God forbid anything ever happens to my mom, I think I would move out there with him. Only issue that would concern me with that is my doctors are all on the east coast. He is on the west coast. I am still dealing with amelo and the insurance crap that goes with it. Lets just say plane tickets would not be cheap. Well, I hope that decision does not have to be made any time soon.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Priority of Life

We all have them. Whether it is taking care of a parent or child. Staying late at work one day to make sure whatever files get done. Walking the dog, feeding the cat. The list could go on and on. But the one priority that is often overlooked by people, including myself, should be our first priority. That is yourself.

I have to figure out me. What I want out of life. You know that big stuff. LOL. Work is ok but I have to be honest with myself. This is not where I want to be and I am at a dead end anyway. I am taking a nutrition class to see if that is possibly a career change I want to make. Jury is still out on that one. I was suppose to do work on it tonight but I am just not in the mood. If I decide at the end of this semester it's not for me, I think I will take another class in the different field. Get my feet wet and go from there. Things need to change and no one is going to do it for me. Sometimes you have to fight and struggle a bit for what you want out of life. That is how you learn and hopefully grow.

Speaking of fighting, I also need to get my insurance to pay for my implants. But I will have to wait and see on that part. This too is also a priority and moving forward with the rest of my reconstruction. It has been too long and I would like to be "whole" for Christmas. I don't think that is too much to ask for.

I go back in August to get another scan to make sure everything it ok. Fingers crossed.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Still Flighting

I sent off yet another letter to my insurance for them to pay for my implants. They send my doctor a denial, again. I really should say I sent them a package. I mailed photos of X-rays and CAT Scans of my jaw and picture of me all swollen. I send them so much information that they will think I am crazy. GOOD. Hope they do so they can pay for me to be whole again.

It has been just over a year since my last surgery. All I have to do is get the implants but I do not want to go to the next step until I get this straight. I hate to say this but if it does not work I might have to get a lawyer. I would rather not as the lawyer might be as much as the implants would cost me. But they want me to give up. I say no way!

On the plus side, I have started taking a nutrition class. Should be fun to learn something again in a class environment.